The Veghead Zone

 I’m going to make an(other) exception to my rule about this blog. Never post about anything negative in my private life.

At the moment I’m homeless or between homes, because that feels a little better to call it.

I don’t know from one day to another where I’m going to sleep or even if I’m going to get something to eat.

Since it’s getting colder now it’s scary to face a night outdoors. At least it’s harvest season. Sometimes I have found apples.

I never in a million years imagined this could happen to me.

Friends and relatives have helped me before but the few I have can’t help anymore.

Ironically, I just got a job (freelance, distance). Unfortunately, it will be two months until I get paid. Also, I don’t have any place to sit and work, unless I can get money for somewhere to spend the night.

All my life I’ve been told I’m ’lazy’. My closest relatives/family members have said ’it’s like it hurts her to...” (do whatever chore I had to do). And: ”All you do is sit and talk (or read)”. Frankly, I’m really tired of hearing those words. It’s as if people who are more active feel they have a right to criticize those who are different from them. I realize that society favors those who are quick and active over us who tend to sit and think. The former are probably more useful. Be that as it may. I have begun to resent being described that way. I’m low energy. I tend to be pensive and think before I act. Is that necessarily bad? So from now on, I’d like to ban the word ’lazy’. Call me a low energy person. I can live with that. My dad was one too, and my aunt (his sister). In return I won’t call the high energy people hyper.

I was looking forward to getting my phone back. Now it turns out that the local repair shop won’t fix mine because it’s too old. The same goes for almost every unit we have. They’re old, but still good, except of course that the children have broken the screens. I’m so disappointed. I could get a new phone, but not here, since I don’t have the necessary bank documents. They’re only valid in Sweden and right now I’m not allowed to go back if I want return here. Well, under certain circumstances I could, but that would be very difficult so I hope I won’t have to. At least this situation can’t go on forever. Sooner or later things will have to go back to normal.

Since the Corona/Covid 19 crisis began, I’ve read a lot about what you might call ’Corona Chic’, which I assume is ironic. I’m not usually very chic, but I do try my best (according to my own taste, not the latest fashions). Since this started I have mainly been wearing a tank top and either sweatpants or leggings (the apartment is far too hot). Normally, I try to get a haircut maybe twice or three times a year, since I have quite long hair. Usually, I fail and sometimes i only get a real haircut at an actual hairdresser’s maybe once a year or even once every two years. The stress of being a busy mom. :) Now with the risk of getting infected, I’ve decided that from now on, I’ll try to do without professional haircuts. I try to cut it myself, but the ’styling’ must be done by my sister - who can see what’s she’s doing. It’s not that big a deal anyway. A scrunchie helps me keep my hair away from my face.

I do hope I won’t need to go to the dentist. That would be really complicated. Fortunately, no one in my family has needed any medical help, medication or dental work (although I do have half a tooth after I bit into a really hard snack when I was out traveling). After my children broke my glasses, I have even ordered a pair without trying them on, using my old prescription (though sadly, because of the so called postal services in Scandinavia, I haven’t received them and I’m still not sure if I’ll get them at all. 50 euros wasted.

What are you guys doing about your personal style these days? Do you risk getting a professional haircut? Do you go to the dentist? I assume I would try to find a way of going if I was in severe pain, but fortunately, I haven’t been. Do you choose a more relaxed clothing style? Or don’t you ever bother about fashion? My mom has an idea that being into fashion, haircuts, make up or even enjoying elaborate meals is being vane and self centered. She thinks you should ignore the body as much as you can, but she does enjoy her tea and sandwiches and occasionally a bit of chocolate. My sister and I have tried to discreetly buy her new clothes but she tends to put those away and then use her old clothes, thirty years old or more. Hopefully people won’t think we’re mistreating her. She says that people should mind their own business, but that’s something Scandinavians have a hard time doing.

Today, I read the morning paper online. There were primarily two things that struck me.

One: one man wrote in his column about the ’hug greeting’. It will have to go, so like my daughter does to all kinds of things, he says bye, bye to the hug. Great. I’ve never liked being hugged by all and sundry. Cute guys, sure, my adorable kids, of course, but that’s about it, really.

I feel the same way about the handshake. I know we’re meant to shake hands to show that we trust the other person. Way back, people had to lay down their hand weapons to shake hands so obviously you needed to be able to trust whoever you greeted like that. We even have an architectural detail in our churches called ’the weapon house’ - the hallway, entrance hall etc. Where, apparently, our ancestors had to lay down their weapons to enter the church. It shows how much our society was dependent on weaponry for defense. The extreme right have made a big deal out of the handshake as a ’Swedish’/Aryan thing. Muslims don’t want to shake women’s hands, apparently. So naturally, the authorities need to force these foreigners to shake hands like ’real people’. ;) Note the irony here. I do not feel that way. There’s quite a bit of resistance to burkas and things like that too. There’s an old Swedish saying about needing to know your ’Pappenheimers’, meaning know your friends/allies. If someone’s wearing a burka, you know she’s religious. I think it’s far better to know what people are about, than have them forcibly hidden behind a behavior that isn’t natural to them. Same with handshakes. Besides, they’re unhygienic, even when there’s no Corona virus, no flu, nothing in particular.

The other day, I ran into a slightly eccentric man. My sister’s met him too. He asks where you’re from to get you to start to talking to him. He inevitably leads the conversation to football, because that’s his passion. So we talked a while. He asked about my son’s name and took his hand. A few seconds later my son was sucking his fingers. I consoled myself with the fact that there’s basically no corona virus here. It’s an extremely safe place and I really doubt this man had travelled lately. So I guess my son will be ok. But it was disgusting. I wish I’d had some disinfectant with me.

I’m rooting for the Bhuddist greeting. Pressing your hands together and bending your neck. I’ve seen some humorous suggestions about shoving each other with the elbows (mostly suitable for young men, I think) and a sort of ’foot shake’ that looked funny, but any kind of physical contact brings you too close to the other person. So, the Bhuddist thing. Respectful and hygienic.

Another thing I read about is the fact that Sweden hasn’t shut down our schools (except for the high schools). It was a conscious decision that other countries never tire of criticizing Sweden for. And by the way, I get furious when our neighbors criticize us. It gets really personal for me, despite the fact that we moved away from our home country because of the change it has undergone. Sure, Sweden may be wrong, or other countries may be. I’m sure it’s far too soon to tell. Even if it was a mistake, people make mistakes. It’s hard to know what to do when something completely new hits you. Only very few people with experience of the Spanish flu are still around. None from decision making circles. Who could have known what would be best to do? All we have is the advice of the experts.

Anyway, now people are saying that closing down schools and teaching kids online has cost millions. Ok, maybe so, but if that’s true, I say they weren’t doing it right. Sitting at home would have helped me enormously and I’m sure my kids, particularly my son, would benefit from it too. Lower rents and fewer people employed would also save money. I realize that some people are hyper social and thrive on the company. I didn’t and I know my son won’t. He basically doesn’t care much for other kids. Except for cute blonde girls, but that’s another story (did I tell you about his ’date’?). If you can save yourself from the risk of infection, surely it’s better to stay at home than venture outside where people might be infectious?

I’m beginning to prepare for a life without social contacts, maybe for the foreseeable future. As long as we can manage to finish our loooong move. Get all our stuff collected and above all, a good piece of land. I very much doubt there’ll be travel or outings or actual shopping in our future. Whatever money we have we’ll spend on our home. Now I guess I’ll never meet ’Mr Right’. :/